Two nuns are traveling through Europe in their car.
They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.
Suddenly, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and scratches at the windshield!
"Quick, quick!!" shouts the first nun "What shall I do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on, that will get rid of the abomination." shouts the second.
The first nun switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and hisses even more loudly!
"What shall I do now?" shouts the first nun.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican!" says the second.
Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and hisses again at the nuns.
"Now what?" screams the first nun. "Show him your cross!" says the second.
So the nun rolls down the window and shouts:
"GET OFF MY DARN HOOD, YOU LITTLE CREEP!!"
What is the difference between a Golfer and a Skydiver?
A Golfer goes:
Whack!................................Oh Damn!
A Skydiver goes:
Oh Damn.................................
Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner.
One said "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble
with bats in my loft and attic at church.
I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away."
Another said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic.
I've even had the place fumigated and they won't go away."
The third said, "I baptized all mine and made them members of the church.........
Haven't seen one back since!"
What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer
What do you get when you goose a ghost?
A handfull of sheet!
How do you make a witch stew?
Keep her waiting for hours.
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