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10. Goth look makes it tough to tell living from the undead. 9. Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap. 8. Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs. 7. Three Words: Daylight Savings Time. 6. After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin. 5. After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira. 4. No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around. 3. Soft, buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized "hardbodies." 2. Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey. 1. Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards. |
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